Wedding RSVPs: deadlines, wording and chasing
When to set your RSVP deadline, what to ask for beyond yes or no, and how to chase the guests who never reply.
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Your RSVP deadline is not really about politeness — it is set by your caterer, who needs final numbers, and by the seating plan, which cannot start until you know who is coming. Work backwards from those two and the date picks itself.
Setting the deadline
- Ask your caterer when they need final numbers. It is commonly two to three weeks before.
- Add a week for the seating plan, and another for chasing the people who have not replied.
- That usually lands the deadline four to six weeks before the wedding. Put it on the invitation and on your wedding website.
Ask for more than yes or no
- Dietary requirements and allergies — collecting these separately later is a second round of chasing.
- Meal choices, if you are offering them.
- Which events they are coming to, if you have more than one.
- Song requests, which double as a way to make the RSVP feel less like paperwork.
- Whether they need accommodation or transport information.
Chasing non-repliers
Some guests will never reply to anything. Send one reminder a week or so before the deadline and a second just after it, then telephone the remainder — a call resolves in a minute what three emails will not. Track who has been chased so two of you are not calling the same people.
Frequently asked
When should the wedding RSVP deadline be?+
Four to six weeks before the wedding. That gives your caterer final numbers on time and leaves room to build the seating plan and chase the guests who have not replied.
What should a wedding RSVP ask for?+
Attendance, dietary requirements and allergies, meal choice if you are offering one, which events each guest is attending, and anything you would otherwise have to collect in a second round — song requests, accommodation needs, transport.
How do you chase wedding RSVPs?+
One reminder shortly before the deadline, one just after, then telephone whoever is left. Keep a record of who has been chased so you are not contacting the same guests twice.
Are online wedding RSVPs better than cards?+
They are easier to chase and to total, and they let you collect dietary requirements at the same time. Many couples do both — a card for guests who prefer paper, and a website link for everyone else.